She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
