Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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