He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
