I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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