He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Don't tell me you're on acid again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
