I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
