there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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