i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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