this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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