I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
