he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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