I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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