So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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