I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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