My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
