But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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