Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
