i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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