So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
