omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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