My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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