is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Mom said you looked used
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize