Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
