i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
