why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
