hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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