I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
