I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize