i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
