I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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