her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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