great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
