Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
