My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
