I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I deserve this hangover.
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