How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
