feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
