she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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