Too much gin, very little bucket
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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