it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
