ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize