im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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