Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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