And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
