U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
