life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize