we have pet lesbian snakes
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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