she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
