Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
