I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
