btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
