Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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