did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
