she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
