just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
