In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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