when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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