$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize