Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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