so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
