lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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