I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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