Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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